Waiting for happy days to return

Why is it that when you are talking to a guy all the uncertainties flood back.

Did I do something wrong?
Has he lost interest?
Am I not good enough?
Did he change his mind?
Why just why?

I am strong. I am confident. I am beautiful. Or at least that is what I tell myself. I try so hard and then a boy likes me and everything goes  down the tubes. That is why I like being single. The only problem is when things like this happy. In a relationship my confidence raises, but before that a melting ice cube. Do not let me think of the possibilities and then destroy them. Do not let me think something will happen and then pull it away.

Then there he is, just now. A text. My phone buzzes and I secretly hope it will be him. It is, an apology for not texting sooner and a goodnight.
Am I over reacting?
What is wrong with me?
Why is happiness always fleeting? An inch away from my grasp.

It's been awhile

I haven't blogged in a very long time. I don't know how long it will last this time.

Is it conceited to say that I am so proud of the person I am becoming? I have changed so much in the past two or three years. My personality is still about the same, but I am different on the inside. I used to be so insecure and now I am verging on being confident. I have had a problem with settling even a few months ago and feel like I have grown past it. I have never dated a guy that I liked and knew for a period of time. Now I am wondering what is wrong with me, who dates someone they hardly know? I am getting better though, I turned a guy down the other day. I didn't turn him down for a date, I am always down for a date, but I turned him down for being boyfriend girlfriend. He just isn't what I want right now. I am so proud of myself for doing it; a year ago I probably would have said yes.

Strong. Confident. Beautiful. Smart.